We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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