I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
