im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
