Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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