some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
