just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
