She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My cat gives me a boner
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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