I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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