Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
