guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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