I got chris browned last night
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
