I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Randomize
