You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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