She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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