I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
