so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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