I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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