My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
this just has baby written all over it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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