He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
