I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
