Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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