we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
