i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
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siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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