So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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