im drinking this country out of the recession.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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