Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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