i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
