Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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