nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
