yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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