that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
