Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
