im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
