He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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