I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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