Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
