I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
