You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
