They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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