Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
