the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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