If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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