I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am available for nakedness
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
