You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
