Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize