I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
