can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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