She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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