this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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