We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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