no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
