the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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