we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
