Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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