You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
