This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we have officially lost it.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
