i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
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