I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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