Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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