Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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