eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
