oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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