I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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