Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
