Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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