we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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