covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
