how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
