It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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