**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
