I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
